I parallel park my car in front of a hotel and hop out and leave my drivers side door open because I’m just going to run in and run out real quick. But you have to take an elevator, which is slow. So I get up to the lobby and go back down because I’m afraid that someone will steal my car.
That’s it for that one.
I walk into this diner looking restaurant with my grandmother (maybe? Could have been a random old lady). And there’s a dude behind the counter asking me what I want. And I am hungry. So I ask what they’ve got and he start listing off normal diner food: mac n cheese, hot dogs, burgers, chili, etc. So I’m like, gimme some of that mac n cheese and a hot dog. And when I get the food it’s got ground beef mixed in. So I pick around it and only eat the noodles, which end up being more like scrambled eggs.
Somehow the place ends up being a food cart outside and now it’s just me, the dude, and Terri. And he starts asking if we eat meat.
I’m all, uh, look at my plate, dummy. What do you think?
And he starts going off on his wife’s vegan recipe for lobster sandwiches. And I think, this dude is an idiot. Vegans don’t eat lobster.
He’s still talking but it gets quiter and more mumbley and I can’t make out what he’s saying anymore.
Then he starts bringing out all these pies with piles of whipped cream on top of them. And he puts them in a refrigerated compartment on the front of the cart.
(Terri’s just like laying in the grass.)
So I get up and go around the corner of the cart and start finding these newspaper clippings. And there are photos of me all over them. And I start pointing out what all the photos are from. Like, oh, this one is from when I graduated high school. AND THERE’S TERRI. And this one was from when I did this thing, and here’s another one! Like I was all over the newspaper. And it didn’t creep me out or anything.
Then lots of people showed up and started ordering food from the dude.