(Pardon the grammar, but these are just quick write-ups of my dreams.
They are not essays or great works of literature. Just dreams, folks. Don't be hatin'.)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

(archive dream) Friendship, Maine


I had gone back to Boulder.

I was staying in an apartment with my old best friend, Tammy, and her family.

When they weren’t home I cooked their foo
d and ate it and the mom came home and she was a little drunk and ate some of the food with me, which ended up being like sweet and sour chicken but was totally potato chunks when I put them in the oven.

None of that matters, though.

I went outside and it was like I was in the middle of a campus and there were tons of people outside.

Some dude with weird hair said hi to me and told me that we had been schoolmates when I lived in Boulder. I vaguely remembered this person and it was weird to see who they had turned into.

Then I was surrounded by young men who noticed my friendship bracelet. They called it a “pop band” and made fun of it relentlessly. I tried to explain the significance of it and then just started saying hey, guys, I’ve been living in Maine.

And then they made fun of me even more because for some reason living in Maine is the biggest faux pas.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Human Kerplunk


I'm in Queens with two other people. We're walking down a street. We can see the big globe thing on the right.
A car drives past us, with a dude skitching on the back with a gun in his hand.
He fires the gun and it is SO LOUD.

We're on our way to the subway station. But we have to crawl around through these tunnels and climb up beams and posts. It's like the craziest maze that kind of reminds me of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sewers and what it would be like to climb through a game of Kerplunk.

And there's urine and feces everywhere.

And homeless people.

AND I'm not wearing shoes.

So we're ducking under and climbing over and balancing on different things and finally make it to the subway station where one of my pals tries to buy a pass.
I realize I have an old pass in my wallet, but it doesn't work right.

I start feeding the machine money and some dude steals my quarters.

Then I walk over to other person with tons of quarters covering the machine.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Flood Fence


I'm at Funtown, in Saco.
It's super crowded and it's pretty hard to walk around. Everyone seems to be walking in the same direction, though.

Everyone stops moving after a certain point. There is a very tall chain-link fence blocking off people from the outside.

Behind the fence is a beach, and the waves are coming closer.

Pretty soon the ocean is taking over the whole amusement park.

I, along with a handful of other people, are trying to go with the waves inland. It's not very stressful. But it is a work out. Walking in water is slow business.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Paper Bag Coupons


I was delivering some fried chicken to a house. The two people who ordered the chicken both had greasy, long, black hair. The man was short and the woman was very robust.
I informed them that the bill was $20.
The just sat down in their living room; him in a chair, her on the floor. They pulled the chicken out of the greasy paper bags and just ate it.
I stood there, telling them that I had more deliveries to do and that they owed me $20.

They ignored me.

I told them that I was going to call the cops on them. Then I asked them what the number to the local police station was; I didn't want to call 911 because this wasn't an emergency.

The man got me his laptop to look up the number.

I went outside to call.

I never called. Instead I started shoveling off their porch. But I guess it was like a duplex or something, because a bunch of people started walking up the steps, looking at me like I had two heads or something.

Then the man came out and just handed me a bunch of paper stuff. I assumed it was payment.

I got back in my car and started to drive off when I noticed that none of the things he handed me looked like cash. One was a long, skinny sheet of paper with his information on it (kind of like a business card). Another was a coupon for whatever the woman did for work. The third was another coupon, but for a product, not a service.

When I got back to work I went on a tangent about these people to my boss. He took me aside and explained that these people pull this scam all the time. They just put up with it. It's okay.
Chill out.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Fish Tattoos


I don't remember much, but what I do remember is that I had four tattoos on my legs. And they weren't attractive.

There was also something about Wii fishing games. I was trying to find a good one for my parents and couldn't. When I went to their house to tell them that I failed in finding a quality fishing game, they told me that they had already bought one.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Grandmother Psycho


I'm walking around a street mall with a bunch of relatives (on my dad's side). My Omi (my grandmother) is having trouble walking.
Everyone settles under some overhang thing and I go and look for a wheelchair.
I find one that looks like a Chaise longue with a metal bar around it and it's on wheels.
I bring it back to my grandmother.
She sits in it.
Then, at some point when we're not looking, she gets up and hobbles off.

From somewhere my other grandmother, GG, shows up. She's tall and walking fine even for being much older. (Which is basically all true in waking life, too.)

(I'm not in it, just watching.)
A lot of people were killed at a house. The house is completely trashed and there is blood everywhere.

The back story is that this college basketball team decided that they were going to murder this house of people. Probably some house just off campus.
One guy is super psycho and wants to go in and do all the killing.
Another guy is going to stand outside the front door. This guy is also going to try to just act like a drug dealer while he waits around outside, before shit goes down inside.

The dude runs inside and just fucking annihilates everyone and everything inside the house.
When people think to flee outside, the guy by the door shoots everyone.

When the killing is done, bodies are dragged into the bathroom.

The toilet is FULL of blood.

There is one other guy that is mentioned. He was on the basketball team, but he was not involved. He is a good guy who likes children and kittens.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Babies I Don't Have to Take Care of


So I've slept with some dude and now I'm pregnant.

Then I've had the baby, and she is in the hospital because she's not healthy.

I run around freaking out, talking to anybody I see about my baby that's dying. Including Jeff M, who I run into on a couch somewhere.

I get a phone call that the baby is fine.

I'm going into someone's house to wait for my child.

She is with the woman that takes care of her. The lady that kind of adopted my baby. I guess. Anyway, the now toddler child calls me Mommy, but know's that I'm not the one that's going to take care of her. The father is there, too. And this toddler little girl is so very sweet and beautiful.

I think I cry.

The adoptive mother and my child leave. I tell the father that his features made our baby beautiful. He tells me that the mother gave her very good genes, too.

Late for Chicken


I'm at my parents' house in Wells. It's a work day, and I am going to be very very late (I live and work 1.5 hrs from their house).

I try to get ready, but just can't seem to get myself together.

HOURS go by. At this point I am telling my parents that if I can get out of the house at that moment I will only have to work until 8pm.

BUT I don't.

Eventually I'm in a car in a very snowy, LONG LONG LONG driveway. It takes me a moment to get the car moving. I start backing up.

The long, long, long driveway is very icy and I start to pick up speed and cannot stop. I'm approaching the road and trying to slam on the brakes.

Right as I'm about to careen into oncoming traffic, the brakes work and I slam into a stopped position.


Somehow I'm back inside my parents' house and it's the following morning. I'm determined to not be as late as the day before.

I'm making myself some fried chicken breast on the stove top.

I tell my brother he can have some, too.

I grab a breast and snap it in half to make sure it's cooked. There's bone through it. And it's pink.

Ian's already eating some, and I tell him it's raw and he doesn't seem to care.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Basement Leotard


Dream uno:

I'm walking with Betsy (Sparkling Cat Treasure B) down a street lined with shops. Kind of like downtown Portsmouth, NH. We end up walking behind this guy holding a GIGANTIC gun pointed at the buildings as he walks by.
B and I walk past him, not at all worried.
I look back at the guy as he's walking past a cloth/fabric shop and tell Betsy that the woman that owns the place is a major bitch.
She ends up tearing out of the store to berate the gun guy.
Betsy and I giggle and head into an over-priced jewelry store.

We look at gaudy earrings and goof around the store.
Then I need to use the bathroom.
I ask the store owner if they have one, and she tells me to go down the hallway, down the stairs, and there it is.

The toilet is essentially in the middle of what looks like a basement.
And it's filled to the brim with dirty water. Which obviously means it's clogged and I can't flush it or it will overflow. This also means that I can't use it because it will overflow.
And now, of course, I am naked.

I run around the basement looking for things to pee into. It's becoming an urgent matter. I notice another room off to one side.
I peek into it and notice that it's a laundry room, and one of my meteorology professors is in there.

I dart away from that room and find a small trashcan.
I begin to relieve myself when Dr. H. comes out to grab a bottle of detergent. I try to stop urinating, but can't really, and it just all goes down my legs.

Dream dos:

Dr. Alex Karev (from Grey's Anatomy) and Courtney (from The Biggest Loser) are dating.
(I'm not a part of this dream, just watching.)
I know that Courtney has hidden from Alex recently.
Alex brings Courtney out of where he used to hide from the world. It's in the desert, in a crater looking thing.
There's a blanket on the ground, some weird piece of electric equipment, and a can of Coca-Cola.
Alex tells Courtney that he doesn't want to hide from her, and asks to put the GPS coordinates of his hiding place on her phone. He hooks some wires up to her phone and the deed is done.

He then offers her some cake.

She refuses. Continually.

Eventually the pressure to eat some cake breaks her, and she takes a bite.
Then she starts turning bright red and hyperventilating. Finally she passes out. She is allergic to cake.

Alex freaks out and ends up dragging her into a shed-looking place.
He creates a make-shift syringe out of a power drill and sticks it in her shoulder.

He's super upset and crawls into a bed. I turn into a real person and crawl into bed with him to comfort him. I try to cuddle. Then someone interrupts and Alex leaves.

I'm a doctor. I go out of that room and I'm in a hospital. I head for a door into a hallway, but the door is heavier than I expect and an old lady behind me laughs at my terrible attempt at opening it.
I walk down this hallway and pass a gym where doctors are playing volleyball. One is wearing sunglasses. And I know she always wears them.

I walk down the hallway and past a certain point it turns into a school hallway filled with students. Matt S is there, singing.

I'm wearing a leotard. And I'm late for class.

I rush up a stairwell and can't remember which class I'm supposed to be in. Math? English? I see someone I think I have a class with and jump into a desk.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Cougar Orange: Dog Piano Bar


(I don't remember if these were connected, or even if this was the order. The following is what I do remember.)

Dinner Party:

I'm at a dinner party at a friend's house. Dinner is being held in this big room with floor to ceiling picture windows on two adjoining walls. The host is a little miffed because someone brought friends, and there were a certain number of place settings and a certain amount of food. Now it doesn't quite work.
The host and a couple other people walk outside. We can all see them out the windows walking up a stairwell against the edge of the woods.
Betsy (squirrel-hatin B) is sitting next to me. It's like dusk outside.
She starts to point at the woods near the staircase.
She says it's a cougar; a mountain lion.
I tell her it's not a cougar, probably just a rock.
She swears it's a cougar and starts flipping out.
I have to physically restrain her.

Other Party:

At a party in a different house.
Edward is there, along with some random chicks and a blond dude.
I'm pretty sure everyone is very drunk. Even me.
I think there were oranges or clementines or some other small orange-colored fruit.
Then Edward and I are topless.
We talk about how this isn't the first time we've seen each other topless.
I am covering myself up with a blanket, though.

Girl Date:

I'm going down a stairwell in a school or office building with Allie Brosh (http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/).
Every once in a while there would be a HUGE white sign with black letters on it that we'd have to break through.
They were pick up lines and jokes.
It was Allie's way of hitting on me and asking me out.
I agree to go out with her.

We're at her place and a small dog comes and hangs out with me.
Then a large chocolate lab comes and says hi.
Allie gives both of them rawhide bones to chew on.

My hand gets a little too close for comfort to the lab and he starts going nuts. Barking and trying to bite me.
The other dog grabs the lab's bone and drags it to the other side of the room.
The lab follows.
The little dog rolls over onto its back.


I'm on a staircase with Dane. We're arguing about a bar. I tell him it's near by.
We get to the top of the stairs and we're on a busy downtown street with tons of bars.
We walk past all sorts of theme bars and people try to get us to go in.
I drag him into the piano bar that I was thinking of.
Through the main room, which was full of people, we headed into a second room.
A DJ was playing VERY loud music.
A dude that I work with was there.
I pull Dane over to the side of the room and scream so he can hear me.
I tell him it's not usually a DJ, that live bands play here.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

(David Byrne likes my poetry)


Myself and a handful of other people are on an outside scavenger hunt. But we're looking for these red, floating icons over things and scanning them with a pen looking thing. It's all very video-game-esque.
I go into a shed to look for things.
Eventually me and maybe 3 other people end up in a classroom. But now we're looking for pink sticky notes instead.
We look under things, behind posters, all over.

Then David Byrne is there. He's teaching, or critiquing, or something, poetry. He asks me to read my poem.
I don't have one.
But I do remember one and recite it.
David Byrne really likes it.

David Byrne, a few other people, and me go down a huge marble staircase. The bottom of the staircase is filled with people wearing blue.
Everyone is chanting, kind of. Like a wavering kind of chant song thing.
I know that they are Turkish and they are mourning a dead Olympian.
I stand with them, but because I don't know the chant-song, I start moving my arms like they do in Angels in the Outfield.

Eventually we get by the stair crowd and move into the huge room. There's bleacher seating around the whole room (crowded except for down front) and one teacher in front of everyone.
David Byrne sits next to me near the floor, right in front of the teacher.
He says, "Hey, why don't we get the whole place to critique your poem?" and hands me a sheet of paper. My poem is not on it.
I tell him I can't remember it. I'm too nervous to remember it.

So David Byrne gets up in front of everyone and tells them about my poem.
Then goes off on a tangent. And then another tangent.
It's all very intelligent stuff.
David Byrne ends up talking about a woman. A person in the crowd asks about this woman.
David Byrne goes on about her being a gypsy.
About gypsies.
Other gypsy related things.
He is very excited and educated and cannot stop.