Dance Swords

3/25/11

I'm on a boat, then end up on a weird series of docks in England that are more like a weird pier.

On the end of one of these docks in a large building. Inside it's a high school dance. Like real high school dances, my friends are too cool to hang out with me, so I wander around solo looking for people.

In another room towards the back of the building, Alex B is playing guitar alone. There are people packing up other instruments and equipment around him before he's finished.

I go back out into the main room and my friends are still too cool to hang out with me. So I head back out to the docks.

Someone suggests a restaurant up on a different dock that has an American owner. Me and some people from my Iceland/Scotland trip go. Eat some salads. Hang.

When I leave I'm in a car driving at night. I pass a gas station that has a group of people I recognize out front. I pull in and then head into the convenience store.

Two people end up sword fighting. I'm terrified I'm going to get hurt. I decide to run and find a hiding place.
I go up some stairs and hide in a closet sized room behind an Asian man.



The sword fighters end up fighting right in front of the room for a while and I think I'm trapped.

They eventually move and I head back down to my car. All the people out front are English and they don't like me much. I try to get away in my car, but when I put on the brakes nothing happens.

Some guy tells me to turn my wheel to the extreme right. I do.

He comes over and pulls out a mozzarella stick. He tells my to turn to the extreme left. He pulls out another mozzarella stick.

My brakes work. I leave.

Hidden Ping Pong

5/15/11

A ton of people are hiding from Jo in my house, but not doing a very good job at it.

She comes in, finds everyone awkwardly hiding under chairs and behind their hands.

I tell her I was having a party with all the former AmeriCorps and didn't invite her, so I didn't want her to feel bad when she came over.

Zack comes over to sit on the couch with me, tells me about this table tennis competition.

Everyone piles into a couple cars. We drive down to the Wells plaza with Hannaford in it.

I have one sock on my foot, and one in my back pocket. Everyone else is getting ready.

It's really hot outside.



I leave the windows open a crack and put up one of those sun visor things in the windshield.

People start heading over to the place where the table tennis competition is, but Jo and I wait until everyone is inside.
While waiting, I put on my other sock. Jo complements me on them.

We head inside, and most everyone is getting registered.

One kid I'm with really wants to find Matt S. We look all over the place and can't find him. When we go back to the line, he's right there (with a beard).

[personal, totally conscious update]

To the three people I haven't actually spoken to who might be looking for new, weird, crazy person dreams:

Shit got nuts, yo.

I have a couple dreams written down on paper that I need to get in here, and many dreams I have not tried to remember.

When things settle down in awake time, then I can get back to asleep time.

G'night 'n' sweet dreams.

(archive dream) Friendship, Maine

1/5/11

I had gone back to Boulder.

I was staying in an apartment with my old best friend, Tammy, and her family.

When they weren’t home I cooked their food and ate it and the mom came home and she was a little drunk and ate some of the food with me, which ended up being like sweet and sour chicken but was totally potato chunks when I put them in the oven.

None of that matters, though.



I went outside and it was like I was in the middle of a campus and there were tons of people outside.

Some dude with weird hair said hi to me and told me that we had been schoolmates when I lived in Boulder. I vaguely remembered this person and it was weird to see who they had turned into.

Then I was surrounded by young men who noticed my friendship bracelet. They called it a “pop band” and made fun of it relentlessly. I tried to explain the significance of it and then just started saying hey, guys, I’ve been living in Maine.

And then they made fun of me even more because for some reason living in Maine is the biggest faux pas.

Human Kerplunk

3/17/11

I'm in Queens with two other people. We're walking down a street. We can see the big globe thing on the right.
A car drives past us, with a dude skitching on the back with a gun in his hand.
He fires the gun and it is SO LOUD.

We're on our way to the subway station. But we have to crawl around through these tunnels and climb up beams and posts. It's like the craziest maze that kind of reminds me of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sewers and what it would be like to climb through a game of Kerplunk.

And there's urine and feces everywhere.

And homeless people.

AND I'm not wearing shoes.



So we're ducking under and climbing over and balancing on different things and finally make it to the subway station where one of my pals tries to buy a pass.
I realize I have an old pass in my wallet, but it doesn't work right.

I start feeding the machine money and some dude steals my quarters.

Then I walk over to other person with tons of quarters covering the machine.

Flood Fence

3/15/11

I'm at Funtown, in Saco.

It's super crowded and it's pretty hard to walk around. Everyone seems to be walking in the same direction, though.

Everyone stops moving after a certain point. There is a very tall chain-link fence blocking off people from the outside.

Behind the fence is a beach, and the waves are coming closer.

Pretty soon the ocean is taking over the whole amusement park.

I, along with a handful of other people, are trying to go with the waves inland. It's not very stressful. But it is a work out. Walking in water is slow business.

Paper Bag Coupons

3/14/11

I was delivering some fried chicken to a house. The two people who ordered the chicken both had greasy, long, black hair. The man was short and the woman was very robust.
I informed them that the bill was $20.
The just sat down in their living room; him in a chair, her on the floor. They pulled the chicken out of the greasy paper bags and just ate it.
I stood there, telling them that I had more deliveries to do and that they owed me $20.

They ignored me.

I told them that I was going to call the cops on them. Then I asked them what the number to the local police station was; I didn't want to call 911 because this wasn't an emergency.

The man got me his laptop to look up the number.

I went outside to call.

I never called. Instead I started shoveling off their porch. But I guess it was like a duplex or something, because a bunch of people started walking up the steps, looking at me like I had two heads or something.

Then the man came out and just handed me a bunch of paper stuff. I assumed it was payment.

I got back in my car and started to drive off when I noticed that none of the things he handed me looked like cash. One was a long, skinny sheet of paper with his information on it (kind of like a business card). Another was a coupon for whatever the woman did for work. The third was another coupon, but for a product, not a service.



When I got back to work I went on a tangent about these people to my boss. He took me aside and explained that these people pull this scam all the time. They just put up with it. It's okay.
Chill out.