Date Jokes

2/9/11

Some big, black dude asked me out on a date. So I went. And it was to this sketchy bar place where people were doing karaoke. And I was drinking a Snapple Twisted Tea (gross, right?) and he went and got shots of whiskey and then we went to the parking lot to leave and my car had been chopped. Like it was just the shell of a car. And I was devastated. And I went a told some guy and he was like, yeah, that happens in that parking lot. So I tried calling some mechanic to come and rebuild my car. Then I got a ride home with the black guy date.

He is dropping me off and is like, yeah, baby, let’s do it. And I’m all, not on the first date. And then he leaves because apparently that’s all he wanted. And then all I can think is that Chrissy is going to be so disappointed in me for not doing a black guy.

Then there’s this like little snippet scene where me and a bunch of people are outside smoking cigarettes. I don’t quite understand it.

(This is where I wake myself up to make sure that my car is in tact. Seriously.)

Then I have this other dream. I’m at a table with 3 other girls. And at the table next to us is a table of 4 dudes. And I don’t know where these tables are, but they’re not in a restaurant. More like in a store. And I keep throwing my jacket at the girl diagonally across from me, Julia. And we keep singing Julia by the Beatles at her. And it’s really dark and there’s lots of talk about gory stuff. And then we all get up and there’s like this bank maze line thing and I’m buying lots of books and movies and stuff. But for some reason I have to go to this one particular check out girl (who’s totally goth) because I have to tell her jokes. Which end up all being Zack B jokes: what’s brown and sticky? A stick. What do you do when you see a space man? Park man. And Matt S is in line behind me and I’m telling him that these are Zack jokes and he still doesn’t get them. So eventually I leave, but forget all the stuff I bought. So I go to turn around and head back to the store.

And then I wake up.